I am in a crappy mood. I need to vent....
I can deal with the 9 tubes of blood taken every month. I can even deal with the actual discomfort I have been in. I can't deal with it affecting my mood.
I can deal with the double or should I say triple fatigue whammy of anemia, end stage renal disease, and sjogrens. I can deal with the weekly injections of procrit. I can't deal with me not even wanting to read a book to my two little boys.
I can deal with joint stiffness. I can deal with when I walk down a hallway.... everyone else walks twice as fast. I can't deal with me being snappy at my two little boys in the morning because mommy is just exhausted.
I can deal with working a 40 hour work week. I can deal with even working a little extra when needed. I just can't deal with it affecting my mood.
Normally, I think I handle the stress of it well. Yes, there are times I am so tired I spend a good deal just sleeping. I don't need comments like "Get out of the bed", "Do I need to take you to the hospital", or the best one....."Are you dying"?
So hear this people......I THINK I DO PRETTY DAMN GOOD CONSIDERING WHAT DECK OF CARDS I HOLD. YES, I may be in a slump but I am sure my bloodwork I got today will back that up. I am hoping that the numbers will continue to be improving. I know that my anemia is still out of wack and hopefully it will get fixed this month....until then I am going to take that extra breath in the morning and put on my patience hat for my two little beautiful boys.